lupercal
12-06-2007, 09:53 AM
I knew I'd written this; I just had to find it.
Back in early 2005, Dreamworks announced 'Bee Movie' was on the board, and I made some predictions. Tonight I actually saw a bunch of footage from it on a movie review show. and was aghast at how bad it was. It looked, utterly, unbelievably ghastly. Here's the original statement, back from apr 05 when I was an editor:
--
Boy, this looks great.
Dreamworks have announced their next project - a 3D feature called Bee-Movie, co-written by Jerry Seinfeld. Obviously trying to establish a tradition of classic film titles (Shark Tale, Bee-Movie - aren't they hilarious?), Dreamworks have also managed to snare most of the few remaining Hollywood live-actors who haven't appeared in one of their earlier films. Will the result be the must-see movie of of 2007? I guess it's logically possible.
When I read about this new Dreamworks project on Animated News yesterday I nearly had a stroke. They've got Jerry Seinfeld to co-write this? And they've got Alan Arkin, Kathy Bates, Robert Duvall, and a constellation of equally well known but somewhat less esteemed actors to do the voices?
Did any of these people see 'Shark Tale' before they signed on?
Have Dreamworks tapped into some sort of self-destructive instinct in veteran actors? Robert de Niro and Martin Scorsese in Shark Tale wasn't bad enough? They have to shatter my respect for Robert Duvall and Kathy Bates as well? Please, someone hide Al Pacino and Sean Penn from them!
Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe the fact that Shark Tale was perhaps the worst major animated movie of my lifetime - maybe that was a fluke. After all, PDI/Dreamworks started off very well with Antz, back in '98.
And Jerry Seinfeld is writing! Jerry! Wow! I'll be the first to say it. Seinfeld was the best sitcom of the 90's. That finished in about '98, too, didn't it? Anyway... since then co-creator Larry David is into the fifth season of his award-winning and very funny Curb Your Enthusiasm, and of course Jerry has done... err.. actually... let me check... err.. looks like two extended 'American Express' commercials. And now a Dreamworks feature! Why would I be a little more hopeful if Larry David were riding shotgun on this?
Ok. The plot. According to comingsoon.net, 'Bee Movie' is the comedic tale of Barry B. Benson, a graduate bee fresh out of college, who is disillusioned with the prospect of having only one career choice -- honey. On a chance opportunity to go outside the hive...
Wait, hang on...
Ok, just wanted to check. Thought I was reading the synposis of 'Antz', there, but apparently not.
Anyway,
Barry's life is saved by a woman, Vanessa, a florist in New York City. As their relationship blossoms, Barry's eyes are opened to the world of humans and he soon discovers that people partake in the mass consumption of honey. Armed with this information, Barry realizes his true calling in life and decides to sue the human race for stealing the bees' honey. As a result, the bee and human communities get involved in ways they never had before, each one of them pointing a finger at the other. Barry gets caught up in the middle and finds himself with some very unusual problems to solve.
What do we make of that? From the sounds of it, it could actually be a very clever piece of social satire wrapped up in a kid's movie package, or a witty attempt to reconcile social liberatarian ideals with the reality of the free-market economy. Or it could just be another really, really bad movie like Shark Tale. I'm going to go out on a limb here and and guess the latter, and hope everyone forgets by 2007 if I'm wrong.
Look, I'm sorry for dissing this movie before it's made, but after having to sit through Shark Tale, which was really honest to God traumatic, and after reading they're going to do a spin-off movie for Puss'n'Boots - (I could watch it, maybe, if he spends 87 minutes flagellating himself for appearing in Shrek 2 for no reason) - I think I could be excused for instinctively dissing the next Dreamworks film before it's even thought of.
Loop (05/07)
Back in early 2005, Dreamworks announced 'Bee Movie' was on the board, and I made some predictions. Tonight I actually saw a bunch of footage from it on a movie review show. and was aghast at how bad it was. It looked, utterly, unbelievably ghastly. Here's the original statement, back from apr 05 when I was an editor:
--
Boy, this looks great.
Dreamworks have announced their next project - a 3D feature called Bee-Movie, co-written by Jerry Seinfeld. Obviously trying to establish a tradition of classic film titles (Shark Tale, Bee-Movie - aren't they hilarious?), Dreamworks have also managed to snare most of the few remaining Hollywood live-actors who haven't appeared in one of their earlier films. Will the result be the must-see movie of of 2007? I guess it's logically possible.
When I read about this new Dreamworks project on Animated News yesterday I nearly had a stroke. They've got Jerry Seinfeld to co-write this? And they've got Alan Arkin, Kathy Bates, Robert Duvall, and a constellation of equally well known but somewhat less esteemed actors to do the voices?
Did any of these people see 'Shark Tale' before they signed on?
Have Dreamworks tapped into some sort of self-destructive instinct in veteran actors? Robert de Niro and Martin Scorsese in Shark Tale wasn't bad enough? They have to shatter my respect for Robert Duvall and Kathy Bates as well? Please, someone hide Al Pacino and Sean Penn from them!
Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe the fact that Shark Tale was perhaps the worst major animated movie of my lifetime - maybe that was a fluke. After all, PDI/Dreamworks started off very well with Antz, back in '98.
And Jerry Seinfeld is writing! Jerry! Wow! I'll be the first to say it. Seinfeld was the best sitcom of the 90's. That finished in about '98, too, didn't it? Anyway... since then co-creator Larry David is into the fifth season of his award-winning and very funny Curb Your Enthusiasm, and of course Jerry has done... err.. actually... let me check... err.. looks like two extended 'American Express' commercials. And now a Dreamworks feature! Why would I be a little more hopeful if Larry David were riding shotgun on this?
Ok. The plot. According to comingsoon.net, 'Bee Movie' is the comedic tale of Barry B. Benson, a graduate bee fresh out of college, who is disillusioned with the prospect of having only one career choice -- honey. On a chance opportunity to go outside the hive...
Wait, hang on...
Ok, just wanted to check. Thought I was reading the synposis of 'Antz', there, but apparently not.
Anyway,
Barry's life is saved by a woman, Vanessa, a florist in New York City. As their relationship blossoms, Barry's eyes are opened to the world of humans and he soon discovers that people partake in the mass consumption of honey. Armed with this information, Barry realizes his true calling in life and decides to sue the human race for stealing the bees' honey. As a result, the bee and human communities get involved in ways they never had before, each one of them pointing a finger at the other. Barry gets caught up in the middle and finds himself with some very unusual problems to solve.
What do we make of that? From the sounds of it, it could actually be a very clever piece of social satire wrapped up in a kid's movie package, or a witty attempt to reconcile social liberatarian ideals with the reality of the free-market economy. Or it could just be another really, really bad movie like Shark Tale. I'm going to go out on a limb here and and guess the latter, and hope everyone forgets by 2007 if I'm wrong.
Look, I'm sorry for dissing this movie before it's made, but after having to sit through Shark Tale, which was really honest to God traumatic, and after reading they're going to do a spin-off movie for Puss'n'Boots - (I could watch it, maybe, if he spends 87 minutes flagellating himself for appearing in Shrek 2 for no reason) - I think I could be excused for instinctively dissing the next Dreamworks film before it's even thought of.
Loop (05/07)