One of our fine reviewers once said that Final Fantasy: Spirits Within was a powerful narcotic. Well this movie's pretty darn close. I managed to watch it from start to finish, but that one time was one time too many. I personally rank this as the worst animated movie of all time, and I've seen quite a lot, even most of Don Bluth's and quite a few of the 80s "toy turned show" movies. I have never seen a more dragged out, unimaginative movie in my life. Despite what the movie says, it never approaches the camp appeal of the James Bond films. It only thinks it's a spy movie. Just when you think the movie has an opportunity for something clever, it just resorts to the most obvious solution. The final straw for me? When the villain, who is a really poorly designed character, starts breaking out into a really bad rock song.

This is a bizarre movie; it only becomes clear (well, sort of) what the filmmakers were going for if you're familiar with the history of commercial British animation. In the early days, from the 50s through the 70s, creators such as Oliver Postgate (Bagpuss, Noggin the Nog) and Bob Godfrey (Roobarb, along with adult shorts such as Kama Sutra Rides Again) were giving more-or-less free reign, resulting in some quite peculiar shows. Most were very gentle, but some - the onesfrom Godfrey, in particular - had the kind of sharp wit that later turned up in Danger Mouse.

In the 80s, though, imported American cartoons began to take over the screens, creating two extremes as far as British cartoons were concerned: the gonzo spirit typefied by Bob Godfrey, or the safe, commercial approach of the American shows. British cartoons that tried to strike a balance between the two often ended up as a bit of a mess, and Freddie as FR07 is a prime example of that. My first thought was "how the heck am I supposed to review this thing!?".

Well, why else would it take me two paragraphs to get to the point?

So, anyway. The movie starts of in a standard Disney-derived setting: fairytale kingdom, little prince, king gets killed by wicked stepmother. Then, suddenly, the movie turns into an episode of Danger Mouse: the prince gets turned into a frog and ends up as an agent in modern day Earth, and has to find out who has been stealing national monuments. It turns out to be El Supremo, a fat, black-bearded loudmouth. Voiced by Brian Blessed. That's typecasting for you.

As you can see, the film lacks any kind of real focus and ends up sprawling across into different directions. Aside from a few gaffes, the actual animation is pretty good - most of the animators were picked up from Disney's London-based studio, which had just been closed - but the movie as a whole seems to have had very little thought put into it.

Some people will say I'm being overgenerous in giving it 2.5 stars - Jerry Beck gave it 0 stars in his Animated Movie Guide, and at the time of writing the film is on IMDB's bottom 10 animated movies. But despite being (and partly because of being) a fine example of shoddy filmmaking, I just found the movie fun.

There's a bit where Freddie's stepmother sings a song with El Supremo's jiving minions (who wear a variety of costumes, although Nazi uniforms and KKK robes are the most prominent), which includes lines like "She's so full of evilmania/like a queen of Transylvania".

If the above paragraph makes you tip your head back, close your eyes and groan, then remove a star from my rating. But if you're snorting coffee, then this film might be for you.